Can I Ever Love Again?
by tauridowning
Summary: Clare is going to college, and leaving all of her friends at home. What will happen? Who will she meet? Eclare fic. At least one OC. Rating may change! I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI!
1. Chapter 1

Ok. So this story actually started out as an original story years ago, but I decided to make it an Eclare fic. And I'm super excited! I only have one chapter so far, but I'm workin on the next as soon as I post this. Here goes nothing. Yay!

She was so hurt. She was heartbroken. She thought she could never love again - until she met him.

Three Years Earlier

"I'll be fine, Mom!" Clare said as she hugged her mom for the millionth time.

"I know you will! Its just that Im gonna miss you!" replied her mom as she and her daughter pulled away from one of their many hugs.

"I'll miss you too, Mom! But it's just college! What could happen?" Clare asked, smiling at her mom.

"Clare," her mom said as tears welled up in her eyes,"a lot could happen! But I want you to know that I'll be here for you no matter what!"

"Mom! I know that! I always have and I always will! But I really have to go!" she said as she hugged her mom one last time before she boarded the train. After she pulled away from her mother's warm, comforting, arms, she boarded the train and sat in her window seat. She looked out the foggy window at the tears running down her mother's face. Suddenly, the train jolted forward, making Clare lose sight of her mother. For some people on the train, it was a new beginning. For others it was back to their pasts. For some it was an escape.

As Clare pulled out her book and iPod, a note fell out. It read: _Clare Bear, I am __so__ happy for you!_ _You are finally getting out of here! I wish I was as lucky! But don't you forget your promise! You said I could come live with you in Toronto when I graduate! For once, I can't wait for school to start!_

_BFF's,_

_Jenna_

Clare laughed at her best friend's last sentence. Jenna and Clare had been best friends for as long as either of them could remember. Clare put her headphones on and turned on her music. Then she opened her book and started reading.

She had read three chapters when she decided to just listen to her music for a while. She put her book back into her bag and started looking around when "So Yesterday" by Hilary Duff came on. During that song she fell asleep.

A few hours later, she woke up to the conductor's scratchy voice on the intercom saying that they were about to arrive in Toronto. "_Boy am I lucky!"_ she thought. She packed up her things and got off the train. She was about to call a cab when a sign caught her eye. It had her name on it and she walked over to the man who was holding the sign.

"I'm Clare Edwards,"

"Well then, let me show you to the limo, Miss Edwards," the man said.

"Okay, but first, may I ask who hired you?" Clare asked suspiciously.

"I believe his name was K.C. Guthrie," the man answered.

Clare shook her head and laughed quietly to herself while thinking about what he always said - "You deserve your own limo! You're gonna be famous!" He had always known that she secretly wanted to be a singer or an actress. Not even Jenna or her mom knew.

"Okay, but one thing! Call me Clare!"

"You got it! And you can call me Jamie!"


	2. Chapter 2

Clare's POV

After Jamie takes me to TU, I find my dorm to settle in. I finally get there and I see this dark skinned, dark haired, dark eyed girl, covered in pink, putting clothes in the drawers. I knock on the door frame.

_Wow Clare. This is your room too. Now she's going to think you're weird._

"Hi, I'm Clare Edwards. Evidently your new roommate!" I smile and stick out my hand.

Instead of taking my hand, she squeals and runs to hug me. Awkwardly, I hug back.

"I'm Alliah Bandhari. But you can call me Alli. Isn't this exciting? College!" Wow she's a very peppy person.

Not that I don't like pep. My best friend and sister both were captains of the Power Squad back home. At least something's staying constant.

"What are you majoring in?" I ask trying to make conversation that doesn't involve squealing.

"Fashion. I may be dressed like Indian Barbie today but my mom loves me in pink. Least I could do was make her happy before I move away to college. Moving away, especially to a party school, is not okay in my family." She explains.

"That's really cool."

"Yeah, I guess. What's your major?" she asks.

"I'm in the creative writing program, but I'm dipping in drama and music as well. They're my secret passions." I say, blushing. I just met her and yet she knows my best kept secret.

"That's amazing! I heard the creative writing program is super hard to get into!" She seems really impressed.

"Oh believe me, it was. Hey listen, I'm starving. Wanna go get some dinner? I heard there's this great diner close by…The Dot I think?"

"Oh, yeah. I heard about that. Sounds great. Just let me freshen up!" She smiles and walks to the bathroom. I set my suitcases on my bed and wait for Alli to return. I'm not worried about fixing my makeup, who's going to care if most of it has smudged off? It's not like I'll meet the love of my life in a diner.

"Ok! Ready!"

We leave and walk to the Dot. It wasn't too busy when we got there and we went to a booth by the window. The waiter came and took our order and Alli and I talked while we waited for the food to come.

"So where did you come here from?" She asks me.

"Hamilton. You?" I ask, taking a drink of my strawberry milkshake. Man, this is awesome!

"Oh my gosh! Me too!" (A/N: in this story DCS and Lakehurst are in Hamilton. I looked at a map and its close to Toronto.)

"No way! You must have gone to Lakehurst then? I think I'd remember having Indian Barbie at Degrassi!" I giggled, using her previous self description.

"I did! You know, technically that means we're supposed to be sworn enemies for life." She giggled. Oh that stupid rivalry. I mean come on. Is high school football really important enough to feud over?

"Oh my gosh. My best friend would die if she knew. She was captain of Power Squad…well before…her situation…" I led off awkwardly. I looked at her and she was gaping.

"You're Jenna Middleton's best friend?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my gosh. She totally used to hit on my brother, like, all the time. It was so funny." I laughed. Sounds just like my Jenna.

"Yeah. She tends to do that." I say as our food comes. For the rest of the meal we just eat and make jokes. After dinner we head back to the dorms, unpack the important stuff, and go to bed. Tomorrow's a big day. Classes start.


	3. Chapter 3

Yay! My first review! Thankyou musiclover3! this one's a little bit longer.

At 8:30, I had my creative writing class. Our first assignment was to write about our lives in 20 sentences. Next class we would be trading with a yearlong writing partner. We didn't know who they were yet, because the teacher didn't want first impressions getting in the way. I wonder who it could be…

_My name is Clare Diane Edwards. _

_I have an older sister who is in Kenya building schools for starving children. _

_I lived in Hamilton all of my life. _

_I went to Degrassi Community School for high school. _

_There I met my two best friends: Jenna Middleton and K.C. Guthrie. _

_I was popular in school. _

_All my friends were athletes. _

_In my senior year Jenna and K.C. started dating…if you could call it that. _

_Anyways, Jenna got pregnant and all of us were stunned. _

_She dropped out at semester break and is redoing her whole senior year now. _

_K.C. is in college on football and basketball scholarship but does what he can to help support her and their baby girl, Melissa. _

_My parents divorced when I was in grade ten because my dad was having an affair._

_Actually, multiple affairs. _

_My mom has been alone since. _

_It broke my heart to leave her. _

_She's in that big house all alone. _

_At least soon my sister will be done in Kenya and can be with her and help her get out and be happy. _

_When I was in my rebel stage after the divorce, I made a huge mistake._

_It changed me forever. _

_Sometimes I think it's for the better, sometimes I think it was just stupid._

There, 20 lines. I didn't think it'd come so easy. Now I just have to wait until Wednesday to figure out who my partner is going to be. My next class is my required Phys Ed credit (A/N: I'm not sure if all colleges have that but the college I start at in fall does. Sooo.).

At least Alli said she has the same class. We meet up and change and talk about our first class. She tells me about how great her Textiles and Materials class is. I told her about the first assignment.

"So it's not even like a paper? It's like…a journal entry kind of?" She asks.

"I guess you could say that. I think a lot of the assignments will be like that. Creative writing is about expressing yourself and doing it fantastically!" I laughed.

We walked into class and I really didn't pay much attention. I was really thinking about my junior year "mistake". I really don't understand why I mentioned it. No one would know any better. Maybe my partner won't ask about it.

I was snapped out of my day dream when I heard Alli say my name.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Look at him Clare! He's sooo gorgeous!" She says.

I look over and see who she's talking about. Just as I look over so does he.

"Clare! Hey! I was hoping I'd see you!" He ran over and hugged me.

"Drew! I thought you were going to USC on scholarship?" I turned to Alli, who was smiling dreamily at Drew. "Drew's amazing at pretty much every sport he's ever played." I turned back to Drew. "But really! What are you doing here?"

"Well there were a few problems with the scholarship. Like, it being in California. I just adjusted to Canadian weather. I can't go back to California then come visit and freeze my adorable butt off!" I laughed. Then Alli elbowed me, subtly, in the side.

"Oh. Alli, this is Drew. He's like a brother to me. We've been friends since kindergarten, and I would always beat up the bullies on the playground for him." I smirked at him.

He laughed. "Oh Edwards, how you wish it was you fighting. You know I always had to defend you. Thank goodness you finally got that surgery so they stopped calling you four eyes and making you cry!" We laughed. Alli laughed along with us, slightly awkwardly.

And that's when Drew first looked into her eyes.

"H-Hi.." He said, with a stupid look I've never seen on his face. And trust me, he has plenty of stupid looks.

"Hi." Alli started blushing 10 shades of red. At one simple word. Oh, man. I have a feeling she's the female version of Drew.

Drew's teacher blew his whistle snapping them out of their trance.

"Oh man. Sorry I've got to go. I'll see you guys around." He waved to me then stopped and smiled at Alli, almost falling into the trance again.

"Bye…" She said, waving like she was dreaming. He winked and ran away.

"Oh my gosh Clare. He's, like, a GOD or something."

"Sure, Alli. He's just another guy." I looked at her like something was wrong with her.

"A super dreamy guy…" she sighed again before we started class.

Oh volleyball, how I loathe you. We got put into teams of 4. It was a small class so there were only two teams. My team was Alli, Tauri (like tori, hey that's me!), Charlotte, and I.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ah! I'm so excited! I checked my email just expecting spam and school stuff and found out people favorited alerted my story! You have no idea how great that makes me feel. I screamed. Except i'm sick so it came out all funny. and my mom gave me this weird look. but oh well! yay!**

**Focusing on the story. Someone special appears! yay! and just an fyi this is probably the last creative writing assignment i'll write. there's a reason i'm majoring in math, and that'd be because i'm very non-creative.**

**but anyways. here we go. **

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><p>Volleyball wound up being super fun after all. We all seemed to have this instant connection. Alli spent most of the game getting hit in the head because she wouldn't stop sneaking peeks at Drew. And coming from the jokes on the guys' side of the gym, Drew was doing the same with Alli.<p>

After gym, the four of us went to lunch in the cafeteria. We had a great time again then we went our separate ways. We went to the rest of our classes and soon Alli and I met back up at the dorm.

"Oh my gosh, Clare. I can't stop thinking about Drew." I laughed. If only she knew how many times I've heard this.

"Really? I hadn't noticed that in gym when you kept looking at him!" I teased. My phone dinged just as I said that. It was Drew.

_Hey Clare. I can't stop thinking about Alli. Anyway I could steal her number from you? ;)_

_-Drew_

I laughed after reading it.

"What? What? Who is it?" She looked over my shoulder and saw the message. Next thing I knew I was going deaf from her screaming in my ear.

"OH MY GOD! He wants my number! Give it to him! Please!"

I laughed. "Are you sure you want me to, Alli? I can't tell if you really want me to?"

I got a glare in return. "Just kidding Alli. Of course I'll give it to him!"

"Ah! Thank you, Clare!" She hugged me.

"No problem. He usually doesn't care about girls this much." That put a massive smile on her face.

"Well, while I'm in this fantastic mood I'm going to go to bed so I can dream about him." She smiled even bigger. "Goodnight, Clare!"

We both brushed our teeth and went to bed.

I woke up with a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Today I'd be meeting my English partner, and they would know about the junior year mistake. I don't know how ready I am for that. I guess I'll find out.

I get to creative writing and sit in my seating waiting for class to start. Eventually the teacher, Miranda, walks in.

"Good morning class. Ready to find out whom your partners are? Okay... let's see. Kahly Royce and Kelli Boyce (my BEST friends!); Josh Campbell and Tia Smith; Karen Johnson and Sally Jacobs; Thomas Andrews and Jake Welsh; and lastly Clare Edwards and Eli Goldsworthy." We had all stood up when our name was called so we knew who our partners were.

I turned to see who this Eli person was, and was stunned by the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I was in a trance.

And then he opened his mouth.

"Are we going to do this or what?" Ugh. What a jerk.

"Okay." We handed each other our papers and sit down to read them.

_I'm Elijah Goldsworthy._

_I go by Eli._

_I love comic books._

_Writing is my passion._

_I also dabble in music._

_I've lived in Toronto my entire life._

_I drive a hearse._

_I tend to be a loner._

_And most of the time I'm okay with it._

_Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to though._

_Like when __it__ happened. _

_My world came crashing down._

_My parents have been together since they were 18._

_They're still sickeningly sweet._

_They love heavy metal._

_I've probably been listening to it since before birth._

_They took me to a concert when I was a baby._

_I guess that's why I'm practically deaf._

_And am still in love with Dead Hand._

_That's me. Eli Goldsworthy._

"Okay class. Remember that today we're focusing on only positives. So, give each other as many as you can. Shower each other in love." Miranda reminded us.

"So… uh. Short but sweet?" I said to Eli. He raised his eyebrows to that. "What? Your sentences were kind of choppy…in a good way?" He smirked, but just barely.

"Very…hmmm…personal." I gave him a "well, duh" look.

"That was the point of the assignment."

"Well yeah. Most people just aren't willing to write that out for someone they don't know to see." He told me, the smirk getting stronger.

"Well, I'm not most people."

"I guess not…" He said, as I started blushing. So he smirked more. Lovely. Another boy who likes to make me blush.

_I really want to ask him what "it" was. But then if I asked that he may want to know what my mistake was. Maybe I'll find out it time. I hope I do. Wait…Did I just think that?_

Suddenly I could feel the blush rise up my cheeks and Eli gave me a funny look. Then he smirked again.

"What's with that stupid smirk?" I blurted out. I immediately regretted it.

He smirked more and said "What? This smirk?" I rolled my eyes and turned around. Thank goodness the teacher started talking.

"Okay class. That's all the time we have for today. I'll see you again tomorrow. I want you to turn in your entries and have a new one stating what you learned about your partner tomorrow."

We all got our stuff and walked towards the door. Eli and I tried to go through at the same time. He rolled his eyes, gave me that stupid smirk, and pushed past me.

Alli was waiting outside the door for me.

"Ugh. Not excited for that class anymore! Could he be more smug?"

"Huh? Sorry. Text from Drew."

_I can't wait to see you in gym. :)_

_-Drew_

"Aww. How cute!" I teased. She sighed.

"I know right?" She's not great with this sarcasm thing I guess.

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><p><strong>Yay! Alli and Drew flirting. Eli comes in! <strong>

**Comments will make me super happy! and give me the energy to write more for everyone!**

**So comment your butts off! XD**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay. Chapter 5. I'm not sure how good it is because i kinda just want to get to the end of the week in the story. So if its bad...comment and tell me that. =)**

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><p>We went to change and Alli took ten minutes primping.<p>

"I have to look as amazing as I can. We're in gym clothes, for crying out loud."

"True."

We went out to gym. Alli and Drew flirted. They went their separate ways. Then we hung out with Tauri and Charlotte.

Our days went on like this for a few weeks. Eli continued to get on my nerves but slowly we were starting to be kind of friends.

*Three Weeks In to School, Creative Writing*

Due to our Creative Writing period only having ten people, we all became really close.

It turned out Kahly and Kelli are best friends with one of the girls on my gym team. And it turned out that Tia was just as dark and cynical as Eli, even though she dressed very brightly, and he, well, didn't.

Tia walked in one day and sat down next to Eli and I as we were editing each other's papers.

"Hi, Eli." She batted her eyes at light speed. She kind of looked like she was having a seizure.

"Uh, hey Tia. Is there something in your eye?" I had to cover my mouth to refrain from laughing. Her face dropped.

"No. Uh, listen I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay, shoot."

"I was wondering if, maybe, you wanted to, like, go out Friday or something?"

My eyes shot up from Eli's paper. He looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Um, sure. Why not?" He tried to smile, but he seemed really caught off guard. She squealed. I rolled my eyes.

"Great! Pick me up at 7." She winked and walked away.

He turned back to me, still looking confused. "Tia liked me?"

"Obviously, Stupid." _Woah, why did I just sound mad. I'm not…jealous? No, I don't like Eli like that. I can barely stand him as a friend sometimes. Right?_

"Hey! What did I do?"

"Asked a stupid question. Duh!" I smirked, trying to recover.

"Uh huh." He gave me a disbelieving look. Luckily, Miranda walked in at that moment.

_Oh, thank you lord._

All day I kept thinking about why I reacted like that. _I don't like him, right? I mean he was cute and all. But he was really full of himself. That's not really my type. But he's so deep, more than you'd expect from looking at him._

Alli and I were in the dorm, enjoying the Chinese Take Out we'd ordered when I blurted something stupid out.

"Alli, I think I might like Eli."

Her jaw dropped. I think it might have literally hit the floor.

"Alli, chill. Think and might were the operative words there. It's just a possibility, a very slim one."

"What brought you to this conclusion, Clare?" She asked, finally closing her mouth.

"I'm not totally sure. We were sitting in class and everything was fine. Then Tia came in and asked him out and I just felt, I don't know, annoyed or something?"

"You mean annoyed that Tia beat you to him? Tia's pretty and all, but she's kind of simple." She said, drawing out the word simple.

"Oh, she is not. You can't get into the creative writing program if you're simple."

"So she's able to write. But you are so much better! You're gorgeous, and smart, and talented. You can cook, act, sing, write music, stories, play's. You can do anything you set your mind to. All Tia can do is write stories and flip her hair." I laughed. She kind of had a point.

"Oh Alli, I can always rely on you to make the situation less… serious I guess?" I continued to laugh.

"I try." She said and smirked. "Hey, get on msn, okay?"  
>"Alright?" I signed on and added me into a conversation along with Eli. She used the excuse of planning our History project. We all had that class together. Soon the conversation wasn't on history.<p>

**Alli B says: So Eli, Clare was telling me about what happened in CW this morning.**

**Eli G says: Oh you mean about Tia? Or about her jealousy? ;)**

**Clare E says: Eli stop being so full of yourself. I told you. You asked a stupid question. :)**

**Eli G says: Uh huh. ;)**

**Alli B says: I'm sure Clare Bear.**

**Clare E says: Alls. Shut up. Mmmkay? **

**Alli B says: Oh come on Eli, you know why she got mad.**

**Alli B is no longer in this conversation.**

"Clare! Why did you shut my laptop?"

"Alli you can't tell him! I told you, it's a MAYBE!"

"I was going to say because it was obvious that Tia liked him."

"Oh…Sorry."

**Eli G says: Clare? What happened to Alli?**

**Clare E says: Oh, sorry. Her laptop died all of a sudden. **

**Eli G says: Oh, Okay. Well I'm going to go work on the writing assignment. I'll see you in the morning. :) Sweet dreams, Clare Bear.**

**Clare E says: Night! :)**

In CW in the morning, Tia came up to Eli again.

"Hey Eli, my parents wanted me to come home for the weekend. Is it okay if we move up the date to tomorrow night?"

"Sure Tia, that sounds great." He smiled and she walked away.

"Great, eh?" I said, trying to sound playful.

"Are you getting jealous again, Clare?" I fought the blush that was rising as he smirked, full on.

"Eli, are you getting cocky again?" I said, returning the smirk.

"Answering my question with a question. You are SO jealous."

"Keep dreamin' Eli." I said as I turned around in my seat and blushed.

_Why does he have to be so cocky and flirty? He just made a date right in front of me. Why would he do that and flirt with me?_

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><p><strong>And this is where this story kind of gets personal. That msn convo helped get me and my ex together, and when clare was describing eli, i was thinking of him. remember! comments make me happy!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Ahh. This is short. And slightly pointless. I really wanted to at least do the Tia/Eli date today, but it's been a bad day and i'm not really inspired to rewrite the history of me and my ex. Hopefully i'll find time tomorrow. but tomorrows prom. so i guess we'll see. anyways. comment and tell me how much this sucks, okay? =)**

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><p>The four of us were in the locker room getting ready for gym and I was explaining my morning with Eli.<p>

"Ugh. I so don't get him! He tells Tia that the date sounds great. Then he flirts with me. And seems happy that I'm jealous."

"You're jealous now?" Charlotte asks.

"No. I meant happy that he thinks I seem jealous." I clarified.

"Uh huh. Sure you did, Clare Bear." Tauri smiled and winked at me.

"I did!" I yelled as she and Char walked out of the locker room laughing.

"Ugh, Alli. What do I do? Why do I have to realize that I have feelings for him when he starts dating someone else?" I said, looking down at my hands.

"Sometimes that's just how it works. You know the saying: You don't know what you got 'til it's gone. But maybe it's not too late. They haven't even gone on a date yet." She said, trying to cheer me up.

"I think I'm just going to back off. If it's meant to happen, it will. I'm not going to get in the way of him and Tia because what if he doesn't feel anything back?"

"Oh come on, Clare. You'd be stupid if you didn't notice how much he likes you."

"Yeah, well, Alls, if that was the case, he wouldn't be dating another girl." I said as I got up and walked out. I heard her sigh and follow me. I knew I was being kind of depressing, but I couldn't help it. That's how I felt.

*The Next Morning, CW*

"Morning, Clare Bear!" Well, isn't he just cheerful? I gave him a half-hearted smile in return.

"You're cheery today. Let me guess, so excited for your date tonight?" I asked and rolled my eyes.

"Nope, I get to see you of course." He smirked. That made me smile a little bit. Miranda talked all through class so Eli and I didn't talk.

"Have fun tonight. See you tomorrow." I smiled and walked out to Alli.

"Yeah. Bye"


	7. Chapter 7

**Ahh! I feel bad that i haven't posted all weekend, and then this probably isn't that great. I feel a block coming on. but i promise to push through. This is shorter than i wanted it to be but it took me two and a half hours to just write this. \**

**And. Thankyou so much for the comments i got on last chapter. They make me so happy, they push me to write even though i can't think of how to write this out. Maybe if i get more i'll get over my block! (Hint, Hint :) )**

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><p>"Ugh. Alli! This is so not fair! Why does he think it's okay to act like that?"<p>

"Because he's a boy. They don't understand how easy it is to mess with our heads. If you're sticking with backing off then just ignore him, but I think you should go for it."

"Ignore him it is." Alli rolled her eyes at that. But why do I have to torture myself because he's a flirt?

*The Next Morning, CW*

I walked into class and realized I was a few minutes early, so I sat down and pulled out a book. Then Tia walked up and looked at me, then the chair next to me, expectantly.

"Um. Hi Tia." She smiled and looked at the chair again. "Want to sit down?"

"Oh. Sure, Clare! How are you this morning?" She was really chipper, and it was really irritating.

"I'm great, Tia. How are you?" I said in a sarcastic tone. She didn't catch on I guess.

"That's good. I'm amazing. I'm on cloud nine. My date with Eli was just perfect." I swear I saw a "Ha. I win Bitch" look on her face. And she definitely put emphasis on "date" and "Eli".

_What? She wants me to be jealous too? What is with these people?_

"That's great!" I said with a smile on my face. Her smile seemed to drop a bit.

"Hey girls. Talkin' about me?" Eli said as he walked in.

"Eli! Hey!" Tia jumped up and ran to him. She leaned in for a kiss and he moved to kiss her on the cheek, obviously avoiding her lips. She still beamed. Then Miranda walked in so we took our seats. Miranda told us we'd spend all class editing, so I turned to Eli.

"So, I heard your date was 'just perfect'" I said, using air quotes. He laughed.

"Yeah, it was okay, I guess." He kept looking at me like he was expecting more about it from me.

"So what did you guys do?" I asked.

"We went to dinner at The Dot, then to a movie. Not sure what's so perfect about it, but at least she doesn't think I'm some jackass or something right? She's kind of intense. I really don't want to be on her bad side."

"You've got a point there." We laughed and I looked over at Tia, who was glaring at me. "What the hell, why is she glaring at me?"

"Oooh. Looks like Clare Bear is on Tia's bad side. I promise to come to your funeral." He joked.

We continued to joke for the rest of the class. I walked to gym with Alli, and didn't complain. Today I felt like I could just be me with Eli. I didn't feel like he was messing with me or anything. It just felt right. Maybe I shouldn't back off just yet.

"Alli, do you really think Eli likes me back?" I blurted out. She looked slightly confused, but answered anyways.

"Of course, he's totally crazy about you."

"Well then, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need to quit on him?" Suddenly, she screamed.

"Oh my gosh! I knew you'd come around! I'm so excited! Tonight we'll plan!" I laughed and nodded.

I went through the rest of the day thinking about Eli. Imagining his soft lips on mine. His fingers intertwined with mine. I will get him back from the dark side.

Before I knew it, Alli and I were in the dorm room, eating our take out from The Dot.

"Okay. So, you already dress cute, but we need to turn it up a couple notches. And the flirting needs to be turned up too, but make sure you're never obvious about it. And make sure that you either let him take control of your friendship, or at least let him think he's in charge. But don't let him push you around either. But all in all, just be you. If you ever feel that you aren't being true to yourself then forget the rules and be you."

"So basically, it's a very fine line."

"Exactly! It'll become natural eventually!" I rolled my eyes and flopped back onto my bed. Then I heard a ping from my laptop. It was and IM. From Eli.

**Eli G says:** **hey blue eyes. ;)**

**Clare E says: heyyy. :) what's up?**

**Eli G says: nothing, just thinking.**

**Clare E says: about?**

**Eli G says: someone. ;)**

"Oh my gosh Alli! I asked him what was up and he said he was thinking about 'someone' then winked at me! What do I say?" I practically screamed at her. She took my computer and typed something.

**Clare E says: oh yeah? anyone I know?**

**Eli G says: I'm thinkin' you know her very well actually. ;)**

We both squealed.

**Clare E says: interesting.**

**Eli G says: very. ;) but I'm heading to bed. I'll see you tomorrow! :)**

**Clare E says: goodnight. :)**

"Do you think he meant me?" I squealed.

"Well if not you, then me." I shot her a death glare. "Only kidding Clare. Calm down."

"Sorry." I blushed.

"It's fine. Let's go to bed. We've got to get up early to revamp your look!" I smiled at her and we went to bed.

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><p><strong>Okay, so hopefully next chapter will get to some good stuff? Comment pleeeease!<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay so i feel kind of bad that i waited so long to post. I was super busy. Prom saturday, then work sunday, then choir concert monday, homework tuesday and choir festival wednesday. But it's spring break. So i really hope to find time to post every day. Also, I finally feel inspired today, so the story is moving forward. I'd like to thank pufferpigeon for the inspiration. I was reading her story "Those Damn Dieties" (which is completely fantastic!) and i suddenly just felt inspired.**

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><p>Alli woke me up early in the morning to make sure we could go over the rules again.<p>

After going over the rules and showering, Alli gave me an amazing outfit to make Eli look at me, but wouldn't make me look like I was trying too hard. Alli called it my "Eli-getting" dress.

I put on the deep army green halter dress. The halter part was made of black stones and it flowed beautifully over my curvy figure. I wore bronze gladiator sandals that had stones matching the halter of the dress.

She curled my hair into perfection and gave me smoky eyes and put on pale pink lipstick.

I was stunned when I looked in the mirror before leaving for CW. I looked awesome! I owe Alli big time.

*In CW*

Tia had just walked in the room and stopped to glare at me. She looked me up and down and somehow looked even more pissed at me.

"Nice outfit, Clare." She said, coldly.

"Oh, I know." I smiled up at her and she stomped away.

I stood up to talk to Miranda and Eli walked in a whistled. I, of course, blushed.

"Lookin' good, Edwards." He smirked and winked at me.

I was sort of too stunned to speak so I just smiled back at him.

_Wow. Was the plan actually already working? Oh, great. Tia's glaring at me again._

Eli and I flirted shamelessly throughout class, and soon enough, Alli and I were in gym.

"Hey girls! How's it going?" Drew asked as he walked up behind Alli and I.

"Hey Drew." I gave him a small smile.

"Hi Drew! We're great. How are you?" Alli seemed really excited.

"I'm great too, now that I'm talking to you." Oh, gag me, please. I walked away from the lovebirds to talk to Tauri and Char about what they thought we'd be doing today. I looked back over at Drew and Alli and she was smiling huge and nodding. Soon enough she was running over to me and pulling me away from our friends.

"Oh my gosh, Clare! Drew just invited us to go watch movies with him and his roommate at his dorm tonight! Please say you'll come?" She stuck her lip out and pouted endlessly at me.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll go. But it's not going to be a double date right? I don't need a blind date. I need to focus on you know who." I'm not sure if she caught the last part because she was squealing and jumping up and down.

"Oh, Thank you, thank you, Clare!" She seemed so happy and I couldn't help but be happy for her. I think Drew might be changing his player ways for her.

Before I knew it, it was time to go to Drew's. Alli and I had our pillows and blankets under our arms so we could sit on the floor when we got there. I turned out Drew lived in the same building, on the same floor. We walked down the hallway to his door and Alli knocked gently on it. Drew opened the door and instantly smiled.

"Look! My two favorite girls. Come in!" He moved out of the doorway so we could step in. When I stepped in my jaw dropped and then I smiled.

"Clare, wha-" She stopped when she saw what I was looking at. "Eli. Hey"  
>"Hey Alli, Blue Eyes." He winked and, once again, I blushed, which made him smirk.<p>

"You're Drew's roommate?" I asked.

"You guys know Eli?" Drew asked.

"Yeah. He's my CW partner." Drew got a knowing look on his face. Evidently Alli has a big mouth and told Drew that I liked my partner.

"Ouch. Just partner? I thought we had more than that Edwards." He feigned hurt. I smirked.

"Nope, I don't think so." We smirked at each other. We all got comfy on the floor and the boys were sweet and let us pick the first movie. We picked The Last Song.

Alli and I were basically bawling when Steve dies and Jonah is angry and Ronnie has to comfort him. Even the boys were fighting back tears. Soon the movie resolved itself and it was time to pick a new movie. They picked Devil. **(A/N: I just watched it this weekend and I liked it a lot. So I'm mentioning it!)**

By the end of Devil, Alli was in Drew's arms and I had had my moments where I hid in Eli's chest because I was getting creeped out. He smirked every time.

We were about to put the third movie, Zombieland, in, when there was a knock at the door.

"I've got it!" Eli sprung up to answer the door.

"Eli!" Oh, GOD! Not _her._

"Tia…What are you doing here?" Eli asked. He seemed confused.

"I came to see you silly!" She giggled and hugged him.

"Alli, I've got to use the bathroom. Can we run back to our dorm?" She gave me a weird look but saw the pain in my eyes and caught on.

"Yeah, sure! We'll be back guys." She gave Drew a kiss on the cheek and we got up to leave. Tia nudged my shoulder when she walked into the room. Alli and I rolled our eyes and walked out. Before I could get far though, Eli yelled.

"Clare! Where are you going?" He asked. He looked upset. Why does he have to be so adorable?

"Um. Just running to the bathroom. I don't want to know how dirty your bathroom must be!" I tried to joke.

"Oh. Uh, okay. Hurry back." I don't think he bought it, but I turned around and walked to the room. Once Alli was in and had shut the door I started to rant.

"What is she? His freaking stalker? Every time Eli and I are together she shows up! I just want to..to.. UGH!"

"Clare, calm down. She's always there because even she can sense that Eli would rather be with you." That softened my heart. "He got this peaceful look on his face every time you hid in his chest." I couldn't help the smile that creeped up onto my face.

"Ugh. Okay. Let's go back now. I have a battle to win." I said with an evil smile on my face. Alli smirked.

"Why yes, yes you do." We linked arms and walked back to the boys' dorm. The door was slightly cracked and we were about to push it open when we heard the boys talk.

"Dude! Why did Tia show up? I thought you were breaking up with her?" Drew grilled Eli. My jaw dropped.

"I'm going to! I have to do it gently. She's a scary girl. Who knows what she'll do if I do it wrong?" He had a point there.

"Well I suggest you hurry up and figure it out. You've been talking about your CW partner since school started. And now that i know it's Clare, I can promise you that she won't wait forever. She will give up if you give her too much time." I heard Eli sigh. He didn't reply so I figured it was a good time for Alli and I to come in.

"We're back!" I yelled and smiled. I couldn't stop smiling.

Eli's face seemed to light up when he looked up at me. That made me smile bigger.

After Zombieland, Alli and I went back to our dorm.

"Alli, I have to speed up the break up process, without making him cheat on her. I don't know how much longer I can stop myself from kissing him."

"Just turn up the flirting even more! He'll be rid of Tia before he knows what's happening."

I could always count on Alli to give me an evil scheme to get a guy.

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><p><strong>Okay, so there we go. Finally gettin into the good stuff. i'm really excited about this now! Its all gonna be interesting from here on out.<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Ahh! I didn't realize how short this really was until i put it on here. But it's one in the morning here and my mom will kick my butt if i sleep til eleven again. So i had to stop. **

**Thank you guys for the comments. Even if i don't get that many, the ones i do get are so sweet. its great to hear you guys like this story!**

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><p>I woke up to the sound of screaming. I shot out of bed and stared at Alli, who had a huge smile on her face.<p>

"Alli! What happened?"

"Drew just asked me out. On a real date!" She squealed and I rolled my eyes.

"Wasn't last night a date? You guys cuddled through every movie."  
>"No. That didn't count. You and Eli were there. Not that it wasn't fun, but it definitely doesn't count as a first date!"<p>

"True. What are you guys doing? What are you going to wear? What am I going to do, all by my lonesome?"

"I don't know; We're going shopping; and I think I know someone who might just love the opportunity to have some one on one time with you!"

I blushed. "Shut up! And shopping with what money? We're college kids on scholarships!"

"What? I'm not on scholarship! My family is LOADED!"

"How did I not know that?" I was so confused.

"I don't know. It never really came up. Now get your butt in the shower while I finish getting ready!"

I got up and walked to the bathroom with my towel. I took a quick shower and decided to leave my hair to dry naturally curly. I put on some eye shadow and mascara and walked out of the bathroom to get my phone. I sent Eli a quick text.

_Hey! Since Alli's ditching me to go out with Drew do you want to hang? :)_

_-Clare_

I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my bag and we were out the door. My phone dinged from my pocket. I pulled it out and read the text.

_I'd love to hang, Blue Eyes. I'll pick you up when Drew picks Alli up, okay?_

_-Eli_

I typed a quick reply.

_Sounds great! :) See you tonight!_

_-Clare_

I must have squealed because Alli gave me a weird look.

"Sorry. I'm just excited to hang out with Eli tonight."

"Hang out huh? You sure that's all? No evil plan, created by yours truly, going into effect?"

I laughed. "Okay, maybe a little more than hang out."

Soon we were at the mall. We went into almost every store and finally Alli found a great dress.

It was a raspberry colored satin dress that was ruched around the waist and the bust, and rhinestone straps. It was very her and looked fantastic.

We went back to the dorm and I helped her get ready. She wore black pumps and long rhinestone earrings with the dress. Her make up consisted of black eyeliner, pink eye shadow, light pink blush and mascara. She looked HOT! Drew would be drooling all night long.

After she was finished I realized I only had fifteen minutes to get ready before the guys showed up. I threw on a pair of dark washed bootleg jeans. I put on a cream colored flowy shirt over a brown tank and used an oversized brown leather belt to cinch the waist. I put on two inch brown leather wedges and put on a tiny bit of black eyeliner to intensify my make up.

Finally, we heard a knock on the door.

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><p><strong>There it is! I'm super excited to write the next part so I'm sure I'll have it up earlier in the day tomorrow.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay. So my heart totally broke watching Degrassi tonight. I'm surprised i could even write this. Guess that means the block is OVER! yay! **

**Also. I'm super mad at Alli for putting the idea in Clare's head that Eli's manipulatin her. I mean the boy needs more therapy, but he isn't manipulating her. Anyways. Here's Chapter 10! I think you'll like it. ;)**

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><p>Alli looked like she was going to pass out. I guess that means that I'm answering the door. I smooth out my outfit and open the door. All I saw was a giant bouquet of flowers.<p>

_Go, Drew!_ Drew found a way to poke his head around the flowers and smiled.

"Hey, Clare. Is Alli ready?" He looked so excited. How cute!

"She's just checking her makeup. For the fifth time." I laughed and stepped aside so they could come in. Eli looked me up and down and grinned. I couldn't help but do the same.

He was dressed simply – a black button down, rolled to the elbows, gray skinnies and of course he had on his signature silver pick necklace – but he pulled it off beautifully.

Alli stepped out of the bathroom and saw the flowers and a huge smile spread across her face. She ran to Drew and hugged him. He put the flowers down to hold onto her better and they probably hugged for two solid minutes. It was kind of awkward.

The Eli cleared his throat and the two pulled apart.

"Sorry. Clare, can you take care of the flowers for me? Pretty please?" She pouted.

"No problem Alls. You two go have fun!" I winked and she smiled and they left. I looked for something big enough to hold all of the flowers. Eventually I settled on a plastic pitcher. It wasn't pretty, but there were too many flowers for anything else. Alli would live with it.

"So, what are we doing tonight?" He asked me after I set up the flowers.

"I don't know. Definitely dinner. I'm starving."

"Hm. Okay. The Dot sound good?"

"Sounds great!" We smiled at each other and I got butterflies in my stomach. We looked away and started walking to The Dot, talking about everything. It always felt so natural with him, like I didn't have to live up to any expectations.

"So what are you having? It's on me."

"Oh, no. Eli you don't have to do that!"

"Clare, it's fine. I want to." _He wants to pay. For me. The girl he's having dinner with. Alone. So if it walks like a date, and talks like a date, then it's a date. Right? But what about Tia?_

"Okay then, I'll have a salad, with the balsamic, and a banana milkshake."

"And I'll have a Dot Burger and a Coke." The waiter nodded and walked away.

"A salad and a milkshake? Don't they kind of contradict each other?" He teased.

"Possibly. But if I eat the salad, I won't feel guilty about the milkshake. The Freshman Fifteen is no joke, Goldsworthy."

"You're perfect, Clare. You don't need to worry about that." He looked me in the eye. It felt like he was staring in my soul. I just stared back and resisted the urge to mount him, then and there. _He has a girlfriend, Clare. A very scary girlfriend. Knock it off!_

"So, how's Tia?" His face seemed to drop at the sound of her name.

"I wouldn't know. I haven't talked to her since she showed up at movie night. She was saying goodbye before she went home for the weekend. But to be honest. I don't actually care how she is. I don't mean that in a jerky way, but I only said yes because I didn't want it to get awkward between the two of us. I figured if I didn't plan a special date she'd lose interest and back off. No such luck. Now she's being all clingy and I have to figure out how to break up with her without pissing her off big time."

"Maybe you should just talk to her. Maybe underneath the bright colors, and underneath the scary attitude, she's an understanding person." _HA!_

"Yeah, maybe." He shrugged and our food came. We ate and talked a little and decided to just head back to my dorm because a really big storm was brewing and we didn't want to get caught in it.

"Ah, home sweet home!" I smiled and plopped down on my bed. I laid on it sideways and Eli laid next to me.

"So, what now, Edwards?" He said as he leaned up on his elbow and faced me.

"Hmm. How about…You tell me?" I smirked.

"Hmmm. How about…No?" He smirked back and winked. We kept play fighting until he was on top of me, tickling my sides, trying to force me to pick.

"No! No! You have to..pick! HA! Eliiiii! Stop! Stooooop!" I said between giggles. Finally he stopped when I sat up and he sat on the bed next to me, staring me in the eyes. I saw him lean in and I could feel myself do the same. He looked from my eyes to my lips and back again. Soon I could feel his breath on my face. It was intoxicating. But then I remembered. Tia. I turned my head at the last second and he kissed my cheek.

"Eli, as much as I want to kiss you, we can't. You have a girlfriend. I won't be _that_ girl." I turned back to look at him and he cupped my cheek in his hand. He sighed and rested his forehead against mine.

"And you don't deserve to me. I'm going to do it. Tonight. I promise." I nodded and sighed. It was all I could do to stop myself from just saying screw it and making out with him. "I-I should go…" I nodded in agreement. He kissed me on the cheek and I walked him to the door. He pulled me into a hug and instantly it felt right.

"So, you want to kiss me, huh?" I could feel him smirking into my hair. I pulled back and punched him in the arm.

"Just kidding, Blue Eyes. I want to kiss you too." He smiled and I smiled back. "Goodnight, Clare." He kissed me on the forehead and walked out the door.

I let out a huge sigh. That was unbelievably hard. Suddenly I wanted to cry. I missed being in his arms more than I thought was possible. Then I saw his jacket on the floor. I figured it wouldn't hurt to just stop by and return it to him. I picked it up and walked to his dorm. Once again the door was cracked. _He has got to learn to shut his door._

I was about to push the door open when I heard what sounded like the phone ringing on speaker.

"Hello?" Ugh. It's _her._

"Tia. Hey. It's Eli. Listen. We need to talk." Oh, God. He's doing it already? That boy does not waste time.

"Okay…what's up?" She sounded nervous.

"Okay. So, I like you a lot…as a friend. I don't think this thing is going to work out with us. And I'm really sorry. But I really do hope we can stay friends." He sounded so cute when he was nervous.

"It's Clare isn't it?" He sighed.

"How'd you know?"

"You aren't one for subtlety, Eli. It's okay. I knew it was coming. Tell Clare I'm sorry for being mean to her all week. I'm a bitch when I get jealous." She laughed. He laughed too and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks so much Tia. I've got to go. I'll see you in class Monday."

"Bye, Eli." She said, and they hung up.

I then pushed the door open and stared at Eli and smiled. He turned around to see me and jumped, then blushed.

"Hey. How much of that did you hear?" He seemed nervous.

"All of it." I smiled bigger and ran to him, hugging him. He hugged back, tight. "You're amazing, Eli."

"It's all for you, Clare." I pulled away and looked into his eyes. I could tell he was being honest. I felt myself put my hand behind his neck, get up on my tippy toes, and before I knew it, my lips were on his.

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><p><strong>YAY! I can't believe i actually wrote this. I'm kinda proud. Anyways. I'm gonna be mean. And say i want to be up to 25 reviews before i post again. I think i'm gonna start on the next part now, so whenever you guys reach 25 i'll be ready to post!<strong>

**So get to reviewing! And get your friends to R&R so i can post faster!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Gah. This is short. I suck. I'm sorry. But i worked 10 hours today and i'm exhausted. So here's what i've got and i hope to post some more tomorrow. R&R!**

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><p>We pulled away and I was breathless. Kissing has never felt so right with anyone. He grabbed my chin and was about to lean in when his phone went off. He read the text and laughed. Then he turned his phone to me so I could see what it said.<p>

_Hey, the date is going awesome. I don't want to leave Alli. Could you get Clare to stay with you?_

_-Drew._

"It seems the date is going well." He smirked. I laughed. He sent a quick reply and looked back up at me.

"I'll just run to my dorm to get my stuff 'kay?" Before I could turn around he had his arms wrapped around me.

"No! Don't leave me! You can wear my clothes to sleep in. Or…you know…nothing." He winked and I slapped him in the chest. "Kidding! Kidding! But really. You can borrow my clothes."

"I guess I could do that." I smiled.

"Good." He held my chin gently and leaned down to kiss me again. I put my hand behind his neck again and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. We opened our mouths simultaneously, and our tongues began to wrestle.

He pulled his arms tighter around me and I wound my fingers into his hair. I tugged a little, and a moan escaped from the back of his throat.

I pulled away and sat on his bed, pulling him down to me. We resumed kissing and we laid back onto the bed. Soon, my hands began to explore his body. I couldn't get enough of him. I started to run my hands up and down his back under his shirt, but the shirt got in the way. He sensed this, and tore it off.

His body stunned me. He wasn't buff, which is good, but his muscles were toned, and he had a hint of a six pack. My hands flew back to his body, and continued to explore.

Meanwhile, Eli remained respectful, keeping one hand on my waist and the other alternating between being in my hair and on my neck.

We continued on like this for a good twenty minutes, gasping for air when necessary, and then returning to each other.

He pulled away and just looked at me. He pushed a curl out of my face and kissed my forehead.

"You are…amazing, Clare." He seemed slightly breathless still.

"You're pretty great there yourself Elijah." He playfully glared at the mention of his full name, and I smiled and gently kissed the scowl off of his lips.

"You want to watch some T.V.?" I nodded and he laid behind me, wrapping his arm around me and settling his head into the crook of my neck. He let me have the remote. I picked a random show and let myself get comfortable in Eli's arms. Soon, I felt myself drift off into a peaceful sleep.

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><p><strong>Eh. I feel that this chapter was awkward. But oh well. Maybe tomorrow we find out what happened on Alli and Drew's date? That is if i can think of anything! Anywaysssss. R&amp;R! LOTS! Thanks! =)<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**This was by far the hardest chapter for me to write. It brought up so many repressed feelings and thoughts. It feels good to get it out though. Here goes nothing.**

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><p>I woke up around half an hour later. I noticed Eli look away when I opened my eyes.<p>

Was he watching me sleep? _Awww!_

"Hi." I said, groggily, and smiled.

"Hi." He said and smiled back. Wow, a real smile. It was a beautiful, dazzling smile; one to match his personality. "So I was thinking, while you were asleep. We don't actually know that much about each other. And that bothers me. Because I really care about you, and I want to know everything about you."

That made my smile bigger. "Me too. Ask away."

"Why did your parents get divorced?"

"Irreconcilable differences," I said, using air quotes. "Or at least that's what they listed on the divorce papers. My dad, to be blunt, was a slut. He slept with his secretary, clients, flight attendants, people he met at bars, people he met out of town. Pretty much anyone who would open their legs, he'd do them. Then we found out about the man. Turns out he'd been overcompensating, trying to prove that he wasn't gay. By the time my mom found out about it all, my dad had pushed the guy too far, and he moved. He was so hurt that he never wanted to see my father again. My mom left him, his true love left him, and my sister and I are still so angry at him for tearing the family apart. He lives alone in his penthouse now. I feel sort of bad, but I also feel like this is what he deserves. He tore me apart and turned my world upside down." I let out a deep breath, trying not to cry. "If I ever get distant or something pull me back. I have commitment issues because of him, and I don't want to lose you because I'm scared that we'll end up like my parents. Okay?"

He looked me in the eyes. "I don't plan on letting you go any time soon, Clare. You have nothing to worry about. Then he pulled me into his arms and held me tight for a moment, while I calmed down.

"Who is your best friend?" I asked, getting on with the conversation.

"Other than you?" He winked. "Hmm. Adam Torres. Drew's brother."

"No way! I haven't seen him since eighth grade, when Drew's parents split and Adam moved away with their dad. They moved to Toronto, huh?" What a small world.

"Yep. Adam and I have been best friends since the day he moved here. He was there for me through all my crap, and I was there when his dad started drinking and worked his way towards hitting him. He almost moved back to Hamilton, but his dad promised to get help."

"That's good. I never would have imagined Mr. Torres as the alcoholic type. He was always so much fun."

"That's what I thought too, until Adam called me saying his dad threw him against a wall and he had to run away."

"Wow."

"Yeah. So, why did your sister move to Kenya?"

"In her senior year, she was dating this guy Peter, and they were great. He respected her values, Darcy even introduced him to church. They went on a church retreat right after we found out about my dad. She was really messed up, and got drunk. She and Peter got into a fight, and he went up to their room. She stayed where the party was, and met this guy, who drugged and raped her. He left her in her bed, next to Peter, and she was so confused because Peter swore that they didn't have sex. They came back, and Darcy was never the same. She quit cheerleading, she stopped going to church, and she even stopped hanging out with Peter. One day, she almost jumped off the roof of our school. She went into therapy and didn't like it. So she decided running away from her problems, but saying that she wanted to help people, was a better option. The mission ends in a few weeks, and she'll be home. I just hope that her theory worked, and I'll finally have my old sister back."

"Wow. That's tough. I couldn't imagine seeing someone I love so much going through that. I'm sorry you had to."

"Me too." We kept talking and asking questions through the night. At the break of dawn, we each only had one question left to ask the other.

"Clare, what was the 'mistake' you made after your parents' divorce? The one you mentioned in the first assignment."

I took a deep breath. I knew I should have seen this coming. "Okay, I'll tell you. But only if you swear to tell me what 'it' is."

He sighed. "Promise."

"Okay. Well after I learned about my dad's promiscuity, I started to question my beliefs. I thought that maybe, sexual things weren't so bad. I still didn't want to have sex yet, but I started to explore…other things. There was this guy Owen at my school, at the time I thought he was amazing. I liked him, a lot. He didn't really notice me. On New Year's weekend he went to the mountains with his family and his best friend, Fitz, and I was texting Owen. But then I got a text from a number I didn't know. The person said his name was Fitz, and that he was Owen's best friend, and they were up in the mountains snowboarding. He was a sweet talker, telling me that I was beautiful and funny, building up my confidence. Then he asked for _pictures._ Jenna had told me that she'd done it before, and it was no big deal. So I sent him a picture of me in my bra and jeans. It only escalated from there, due to the pictures he sent. The last picture I sent him was of my naked breasts, and after I sent it I felt ashamed, even when he told me it was beautiful. Then he asked for one of down there. I wasn't comfortable with that, so I said no. He kept trying to talk me into it, so I told him I couldn't because it was my time of the month. He acted like he was fine with it and kept talking to me into the first few hours of the New Year. He told me he had to go because they had to get up early to head back into Hamilton. He didn't talk to me again. A week or so later, Jenna found out what he did and called him to bitch him out. Some kid named Bradley picked up. He said he'd just gotten this number. I was hurt, but I did my best to hide it. I only sexted one other person after Fitz; one of the basketball players. Eventually, I felt so lousy about myself because I exposed myself that way, and I still wasn't the kind of girl guys wanted. So to let the pain out, I.." I paused as a tear rolled down my face.

"I started to cut myself." I could see pain in his eyes. "One night I sent a picture to Jenna, while she was on the phone with our friend, Britt. Jenna started crying, saying "No, she can't do this" and told Britt what happened. The next day I was called to the counselors' office. He called my mom, and told her what I was doing to myself, and that he would help us find a good therapist. I told my mom I was cutting over the stress of the divorce and Darcy being gone. I didn't have the guts to tell her that I had sexted. She would have never been able to look at me the same. A few days later I found out that Britt had gone to the counselor. At first I was mad at her, because I felt like it wasn't any of her business. Now I realized that she probably saved my life." I gave Eli a few minutes to process all the information.

"Wow. I really don't know what to say. I'm just so glad you're okay now."

"Me too. When stress starts to build up, I have to use my coping techniques sometimes, but I haven't cut in a really long time." He just hugged me. That was enough for me. I only ever told one other guy. He dumped me, and I was afraid that Eli would do the same.

"I suppose it's my turn now?" I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Okay, well I had this girlfriend, Julia. I thought I was in love with her. Everyone around me could see she was bad for me. She lived across the street from me. We had been dating for six months, when I had a feeling she was cheating. We went to these motocross races, and she was sitting on this guy's lap and he was following her around all night. Right in front of me. After that I started popping pills, anything I could find. My dad has a bad shoulder, so I would steal his Vicodin, my brother has a bad knee so I would take his Percocet. Really anything that was lying around. Soon I had quite the collection in my dresser drawer. Julia kept cheating on me, I could sense it. Adam really started to worry about me, and I tried to get clean for him. But the only time I felt like my heart wasn't being ripped from my body was when I was high. He stopped trying to stop me, and just made sure he was around when I got high. One night the same guy from the races was at Julia's house. I was pissed. Of course I was high, so it was so much worse. Adam and my brother had to hold me against my dad's truck to keep me from going over there and doing something I'd regret. Julia acted like nothing was wrong through all of this. She didn't care that I was addicted to prescription pills. One night I was just fed up with it all. I wrote a note, took a bunch of different pills, and got drunk. Next thing I knew, I was in a hospital bed, my throat and stomach killing me. They pumped my stomach. Adam stayed by my bedside for the two days I was there for observation. My parents were so scared and confused. I felt so bad for lying to them all that time. Julia never came to see me. And it's not because she didn't know, because her best friend, Katie, came. We hated each other, but she felt that I needed to know why Julia didn't come. Julia and Katie's brother had been locked in his room for two days. I knew from experience that Julia wasn't a quiet lover, so when Katie told me that she had heard plenty, I knew it was true. I dumped Julia before I was released from the hospital. I'd put up with her cheating long enough, but for her to do it when I was in the hospital was too much. After that, she would watch me work on my car or play with my nieces and nephews from her room. Her siblings started to do it too. That's why I moved into a dorm even though I've lived in this city my entire life. I couldn't handle her stalking me anymore."

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that all. I just want you to know that I'll never cheat on you. I'm so glad you were saved."

"I know, but if I compare you to Julia, don't get mad. I just can't help it. And I'm glad I was saved too. Thank goodness Adam came and went from my house as he pleased. He still has the note I left, and he calls to check in at least once a week. He feels guilty because he stopped trying to help me."

"That's so sad. I just can't stop thinking of what it would be like if you weren't here. I can't imagine it. I can't imagine my life without you…. I love you, Eli."

"I love you too, Clare. I really, really do." We shared a kiss and just stared into each other's eyes. I'd only told one person I loved them before. But I knew it didn't compare to what I feel with Eli. I know it's early, but when you know, you know.

I, Clare Edwards, is truly, madly, deeply, in love with Eli Goldsworthy.

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><p><strong>2,145 words, my longest chapter to date. This was so hard. Clare's 'mistake' was my mistake in ninth grade, and Eli's 'it' actually happened to my ex. R&amp;R! Tell your friends!<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**So i feel really jerky when i wait this long to post. But i couldn't think of what Alli and Drew's date should be. I wanted it to be the most cliche romantic date you could imagine. I think i failed, but oh well. Here it is!**

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><p>Eli and I had finally drifted off to sleep around 5 or so, after he gave me clothes to sleep in. The next thing I knew, Drew knocked on the door lightly and poked his head in. When he saw that we were decent, he opened the door all the way and stepped in, with his eyebrows raised.<p>

"Good morning, sleepy heads!" He seemed chipper. How sweet.

"Morning." Eli and I said together.

"Clare, I do believe Alli is waiting for you, to tell you the details of how amazing and romantic I am. And I think she's going to want to know what is going on with you." He smiled huge, then winked.

I laughed and nodded. I sat up and looked down at Eli. I couldn't help but smile. I reached down and stroked his cheek with my thumb. He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his lips. He kissed all of my fingers, then the back of my hand, then my palm.

Drew cleared his throat. "I'll leave you two alone for a minute." He walked back into the hallway.

Eli sat up and kissed me. He pulled away and we both smiled.

"I love you …girlfriend." He called me girlfriend. That's the sweetest sound I've ever heard.

"I love you too, boyfriend." I leaned in and kissed him. It got a little more intense when he slipped his tongue between my lips. I complied, but only for a minute. I pulled away and kissed him on the cheek. I've got to go. I'll see you in CW tomorrow." I pecked him on the cheek and walked to the door. I opened the door and smiled at him over my shoulder before I walked out. The second I stepped out, I noticed curious looks from people chatting in the hallway. I was confused, until I realized what I was wearing.

I'm leaving a guy's dorm, in his pajama's, with messy hair. Oh, God. They think I'm doing the walk of shame. I blushed at the thought, and almost ran back to my dorm. I ran inside and leaned against the door once I closed it. I closed my eyes at the embarrassment I just felt. Then I heard Alli gasp.

"I take it the plan worked?" She smiled.

I bit my lip, smiled, and nodded. I suddenly felt giddy. Next thing I knew, we were jumping up and down, screaming. Then she wrapped me in a bear hug.

"I'm so happy for you, Clare Bear! Sit down. Tell me EVERYTHING!" We sat on her bed and I told her every detail, from dinner to falling asleep in his arms. "Aww. I can't believe he broke up with her the second he left you. It's all like in a movie Clare!"

I smiled. "I know. Now it's your turn. Spill."

"Oh my gosh. I never thought a guy could be so sweet. First, we went to A Walk to Remember at the revival theatre. He even cried! Then he makes me wear a blindfold and he drives me to the beach. It was strange. It was so warm for October, like he even found a way to plan that. He had a little table set up, and hired a wait staff and everything. They served us the best, and I mean the **best**, Italian food I have ever eaten. So many carbs, but so worth it. Then, we took a moonlit walk along the water, holding hands and just talking. Then we got to a blanket that was laid out, with a picnic basket on it. We sat down and he pulled out strawberries, fresh whipped cream, and sparkling cider. It was all so perfect. I don't know what he would have done if I had said no. He had to have been planning this for at least a week. Then we laid back and just looked at the stars and talked some more. Then we came back to the dorm and talked more. It's like I could have talked to him forever. The look in his eyes, it like he just adored me. He actually cared about what I said, not about getting with me. And he didn't care that he didn't get with me. He just seemed so consent to have me in his arms. No one has ever made me feel so special. When guys are as hot as he is, I have to admit my values tend to take the back seat, but with him, it was like I didn't want to jump his bones right away, I wanted to hear what he had to say. I want to know him, before I know him like that. I feel like I'm in a fairy tale, Clare." I smiled at her. We were both so happy. I really hoped it would stay that way, and I had a feeling it would.


	14. Chapter 14

**Only one post on the last chapter. =( So i decided that, although i wanted to do EClare's first date today, i'm waiting til i get at least 8 reviews. So essentially this is just a filler. Sorry.**

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><p>Alli and I spent all of Sunday trying to finish homework and clean the dorm, but we were so distracted by the night before and constant texts from the boys, so we never really got far. Eventually we got all of our homework done, but cleaning the bathroom would have to wait until next weekend. Finally we went to bed, excited to get up and see the boys in the morning.<p>

Alli woke me up early, yet again.

"You know Alls, someday Eli will have to see the real me, the one where you don't play Barbie with me before he sees me."

"Yes, and by then you'll be able to do this all on your own." She smiled at me and I rolled my eyes and laughed. I don't think I'll ever be able to work the magic she does; if I can ever even do half what she does I'll be surprised.

Alli dressed me in dark blue skinny jeans, paired with a peach v-neck with a design of a butterfly on the back over top of a purple tank top. She put my hair in a side pony so you could see the design and put me in high heeled purple ankle boots. It was casual but cute.

I was walking to CW when Tia stopped in front of me. _Uh oh.._

"Hi Tia…"

"Hey Clare. Look, I just wanted to tell you personally how sorry I am for being mean last week. I'm very expressive with my feelings. You and Eli are perfect for each other, and I really didn't want to admit it to myself. So, I'm sorry." She looked down at her shoes.

"I completely understand. If I wasn't so shy I would have done the same." I joked. She laughed lightly.

"Thanks, Clare. I'll see you in class." Then she walked the rest of the way to CW. Suddenly somebody grabbed my hand and twirled me until I was against the wall. Then Eli lightly leaned up against me and kissed me passionately on the lips.

"I missed you yesterday." He pouted. I giggled.

"I missed you more!" He scoffed.

"Not possible." He winked, and before I could argue, he spoke again. "So, you, me, date on Friday?" He smirked.

"Oooh. More share time alone in your bed?" I winked and smiled mischievously.

"I suppose we could squeeze that in after what I'm planning." He smirked again.

"Hmm. I guess it would be possible to do both. I'd love to go out with you, babe." He smiled a real smile for that, which I mirrored.

"Great!" He leaned in and kissed me sweetly on the lips before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards CW.

We walked into the classroom and, no joke, they started a cheering.

Eli and I couldn't help but laugh. Kahly and Kelli ran up to me and hugged me.

"About time you two happened! We're so excited for you guys!" Kahly said.

I laughed again and we thanked her. Miranda walked in and we all took our seats. Eli and I held hands all through class and I kept wondering what he was planning for Friday. I kind of hoped he wasn't taking any hints from Drew though. I love romance, but not when you show it through big, clichéd gestures.

Soon class was over and Eli decided to walk Alli and I to gym. We got there and Alli left us to say bye.

"I'll meet you here and we can go to lunch at the Dot, okay?" He offered.

"Sounds perfect. I'll see you then."

"Yes, yes you will" He said as he leaned into me and kissed me.

Just as our lips touched we were interrupted.

"OW OW!" Charlotte said.

"Bow chicka wow wow!" Tauri sang. "About time guys." They smiled and walked into the locker room as I blushed and hid my face in Eli's chest.

I heard him laugh and I looked up at him.

"My friends seem to like you. That's always good, right?"

He laughs. "It is." He smiled at me and pecked my on the lips before walking away and waving 'bye'.

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><p><strong>Remember to comment, even if you're telling me it wasn't good. Stuff like that makes me try harder so i can prove myself. And seeing the comment number go up just makes my heart swell, which makes for better ECLARE FLUFF! and we all want that! =)<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Okay, so even though i didn't get all reviews i wanted =( it's been a week since i posted and i wanted to write this. sooo. here it is.**

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><p>I didn't pay much attention in gym, we played kickball or something. See? That's how little attention I was paying, I don't even know what I was doing. All I could focus on is Eli.<p>

What does he have planned for Friday? The first date sets a certain theme for all the other dates you go on. I'd still be with Eli if the date was lame, but I wouldn't look forward to having to plan all of them. Not that I think it will suck. Eli has a wonderful imagination. He'll come up with something great, and probably very different.

That's another reason I'm worried. How do you prepare for a date with a guy like Eli? You could do anything, which is what led us to this conversation.

"So what do you have planned for Friday?" I hoped he would just tell me.

"Wouldn't you love to know, my dear?" Of course. It wouldn't be very Eli-like to not be mysterious.

"I would." I leaned over the table and gave him a sweet, and slightly heated, lingering kiss. He smirked.

"Babe, as much as I love you and your kisses, you won't persuade me with anything on this one. I want it to be a surprise for you." He reached up and cupped my face in his hand and stroked my cheek. I started to stick my bottom lip out and was ready to give him puppy dog eyes, but before I could, he gave me an even sweeter kiss than I gave him. "It'll be amazing though. I can promise you that."

"But how will I know…Well, how will Alli know what I should wear?" I countered.

"Dress casual. Jeans, definitely." Now I was even more confused, yet slightly relieved. I can't imagine any grand romantic gestures involve the woman wearing jeans.

"Okay. You won't give me any hints?"

"None." He smiled at me, and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine." We finished eating and walked back to school.

*Friday Morning*

Eli started picking me up and walking me to CW on Tuesday, which I thought was nice. He knocked on the door this morning and I greeted him with a kiss, which he returned lustfully, putting his arms around my waist and pulling me close. I'd heard that boys are more 'excitable' in the morning, but I never really tested the theory. It seems kind of right.

"Well, hello." I said with a smirk when we pulled away.

"Hey." He said as he pulled me into a tight hug and put his head in the crook of my neck. I'd never dated a guy who was so affectionate, and I never really understood why people were publicly affectionate, but I get it now. It's like you just love them so much it's just like pouring out of you, it's not to show people that they're taken, at least not with me and Eli. "You excited for tonight?" He asked and pulled away before grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers. We started walking in the hallways of the dorms to go to class.

"Very!"

"Good, you're going to love it!" He smiled at me. I swear, I think he only smiles for me.

*Friday Night, 5ish, Clare's Dorm*

"Hmm. Casual, eh?" Alli was standing in the closet, thinking out loud. She'd already picked out a pair of medium wash, boot cut jeans with a bit of sparkle on the back pockets. She finally chose a sheer white tank top with a brown, pink, blue, and orange stipe on the top and bottom. I wore it over a white tank, and put on a brown shrug, since its October, And not very warm today. She let me borrow a long colorful ceramic bead necklace. I wore a pair of cute brown and baby blue sneakers. Alli straightened my hair for a new look, and just touched up my everyday make up. Before I knew it, we heard a knock on the door. Suddenly my stomach was overrun with butterflies. Alli seemed to pick up on this and smiled.

"I'll get it. You just focus on breathing." She laughed and walked to the door. She opened it to see Eli standing there, a few daisies in his hand. He smirked at Alli, and she stepped aside to let him in. He smiled when he looked at me. I stood and walked over to him, and he wrapped me in a hug.

"You are stunning." He whispered in my ear. I pulled away and blushed.

"Thanks. You look pretty great too." I smiled. He was wearing blue jeans and a red v-neck. Usually he always wore black or gray, so to see him in red was amazing, and kind of sexy.

"For you!" He motioned to the flowers.

"Thank you. Daisies are my favorite." I hugged him again.

"Anything for you, blue eyes." He pulled away. "Are you ready for the greatest night of your life?" He teased. I laughed and saw Alli roll her eyes and shake her head, laughing.

"Of course." He smiled at me and grabbed my hand and walked me towards the door.

"Bye Alls, don't wait up!"

"Oh I won't. Be safe!" She yelled just as we had opened the door, and winked and started laughing. Drew was just about to knock when the door opened, and he started to laugh at Alli's comment. I couldn't help but blush. Eli sensed this and dragged me out of the doorway.

"She's so embarrassing!" I laughed. Eli laughed along and kissed my forehead and then we were off. When we got to Eli's car, he handed me a blindfold.

"You've got to be joking." I said.

"Nope. Put it on, for me?" He began to give me puppy dog eyes.

"Ugh. Fine. Maybe you'll be the one wearing it later." I winked. His jaw dropped and I busted out laughing. "Oh my gosh! Your face is priceless!" He started to pout again and I put my arms around his neck and kissed him softly on his lips. When I pulled away he was back to his smiling self. We got into the car and I put the blindfold on. Eli grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, and I smiled as he kissed the back of my hand. We drove for a few minutes, and before I knew it, Eli was untying the blindfold. He'd taken me to one of those places with go-kart tracks, rock walls, an arcade, mini-golf course, Ferris wheel, and a bunch of that stuff. At first I was a little doubtful. Little did I know, it would be the best first date of my life.

First Eli brought me to the go-karts. We got in separate carts and it seemed we were the only ones using them, so we decided to have a race. We kept cutting each other off then wound up laughing so hard that we wrecked and had to be pulled away from the wall. The race took forever to finish, but we both were laughing hysterically when we finally did finish it was worth it. Next we went to the bumper cars. There were a few people each of us knew from school, so we all had a blast knocking each other around the floor.

"Hey Eli?"

"Yeah, babe?" He turned and looked at me.

"I'm kind of hungry." He smiled.

"Oh thank goodness you said something. I'm starving!" I laughed and we walked to the food stand. Eli ordered two corndogs, a fresh cut fry, a funnel cake and a soda for us to share. We sat down at one of the nearby tables with our food.

"Eli, I'm already having so much fun. Thank you."

"Of course, Clare. This is only the beginning." We both smiled. We finished eating and decided to play mini golf next. I'm not great at it, so Eli would be cheesy and wrap his arms around me and try to 'improve my swing'. It never actually helped anything, but it made it a whole lot more fun. On the last hole, by pure luck, I got a hole in one. I found myself jumping up and down, until Eli grabbed me and spun me around.

"Great job baby!" I laughed and kissed him.

"Thanks doll." I smiled. Eli grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the rock wall.

"Uh-h. E-Eli. I'm, uhh, kind of d-deathly af-fraid of heights." I stuttered. I just started up at the wall in terror until Eli turned me to face him and cupped my face in his hands.

"I'm not going to push you to do it, but what if you watch me do it, see that I'm fine, then I stay down here and you go as high as you can, knowing I'm here to save you no matter what." I gulped.

"I'll try." I said weakly.

"Okay." He kissed me on the forehead. "I'm going to go get my harness on. You just stay here and keep your eyes on me, okay?" I nodded and tried to keep my breathing even. Soon Eli had his harness and had the rope attached and was ready to start climbing, when he motioned for me to come to him.

"Okay, I'm going to go all the way to the top, then come back down and show you that I'm fine. Alright?" I nodded again and he gave me another kiss on the forehead. Then he started to climb. He made it up to the top in no time, then let himself down. "See? I'm just as perfect as I was before." He winked and I smiled a little. "Do you want to try now?"

"You'll be right here for me right?"

"I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else right now." I smiled and hugged him.

"Okay, I guess I can try." I walked over and got my harness and my rope and was ready to go.

"Okay baby, don't look down. I promise I'll be here, so don't feel the need to check. If you look down you'll just get more scared." I swallowed hard and nodded. I turned around and started to climb the rock wall. Before I knew it, I saw the button at the top of the wall. I hit it and cascaded back down. I got out of my harness as fast as possible and ran into Eli's arms.

"Eli did you see that? I did it!"

"I'm so proud of you baby. I knew you could do it." I leaned in and kissed him passionately. "Woah, what was that for?"

"For believing in me and making me feel special. You have no idea how much that means to me." I hugged him tightly.

"Of course I believe in you. You're an amazing person, you can do anything you set your mind to. And I love to make you feel special, because you are. I love you so much, Clare."

"I love you, too, Eli." He smiled and kissed my hair.

"You want to ride the Ferris wheel then go home?" I nodded into his chest and we walked to the short line for the wheel. Soon we were in a cart and I laid my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around mine and pulled me close. Every time we reached the top, we would give each other a peck on the lips, and laughed after each one. Then when the attendant started to let people off, we were stuck on top. I was scared, so instead of looking down, I looked at Eli. Our eyes locked, and we started to lean in and shared a beautiful, passionate, loving kiss, and I knew that Eli was right, this was the best night of my life.

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><p><strong>So that's not the true end of their night. i'm not completely sure what they'll do to end the night, but if you guys have guessessuggestions i'd love to hear them! **


	16. Author's Note Sorry!

Hello lovely readers! As you may have noticed, I haven't posted in over a month (so I apologize if this note got your hopes up, I personally get really mad when people do this). On the last chapter I got two comments, and it took a month to get that many. So I'm wondering if anyone is even interested in this anymore. Because when I have no feedback I'm not confident in my writing and I feel like I'm wasting my time on it. And working full time and having family time doesn't leave much extra time. So if you guys are still interested in this then please inbox me, on this or facebook or twitter (both links are on my profile.). As of right now, I'm sort of obsessed with Glee and not interested really at all in Degrassi, so I'm lacking inspiration in that aspect as well. So if not many people inbox me, then I'll probably start writing when Degrassi starts playing again.

Okay, well, incase no one's interested anymore, I just want to say, it's been a joy writing this, and telling my story, even if it's not over yet. I appreciate you guys reading and supporting me. So thanks. =)


	17. Chapter 16

**Hey guys, I know it's been a while. And im not gonna lie and say i had family problems and my dog died and all this stuff. I hadn't really been feelin the love, so i couldn't write, and so i spent most of my free time reading Glee fics. ****And this isn't much, but you guys seem like you want me to continue. So i'm trying really hard. I really appreciate the supportive feedback. =)**

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><p>Eli and I made our way back to my dorm. All the while, I was floating on cloud nine and my face was starting to hurt from smiling so much.<p>

"Eli, thank you so much for tonight. You were right; it really was the best night ever." I said once we entered the room. I sat on my bed and patted the area next to me, gesturing for him to sit. He obliged.

"I'm glad it was so special for you, Clare. I don't even need a thank you. The smile on your face is more than enough. I'd do anything to make you happy." I turned my head and smiled a shy smile. Suddenly I felt that pull I always have with him, and I leaned in to kiss him.

It started out as an sweet kiss, but before I knew it he was laying on top of me, but supporting his weight so I was comfortable. His hands were roaming more, which I was fine with, until his fingers slipped under my shirt.

"H-hold on." I sat up, causing him to follow suit. His brow furrowed, which made me think he was upset, and suddenly it was impossible to look at him.

"What's wrong baby?" I still couldn't bring myself to look at him, so he cupped my chin and gently pulled my head up to make me look at him. "What is it?"

"I just…I mean, I'm not…I've never…ughhh!" I didn't know how to come out and say it, because honestly, what I'm about to confess is rather lame for an 18 year old. But Eli's eyes were so gentle, and I could feel tears start to well up in my eyes. "It's embarrassing…but I'm a virgin."

"Why's that embarrassing babe? I'm not the kind of guy who expects it early. That's not what we're about, right?" By the look in his eyes, it seems that I might have hurt his feelings. I needed to act quickly.

"No! No, of course not. I just…It's not that I'm a virgin. It's that I've never done anything more than make out. Hands free make out…." The look in his eyes changed from hurt, to understanding, then to.. shock? "I-it's just that I was really shy, and with Jenna always being so loud and… willing, no one was ever really interested in me."

"That's a lie." He said blatantly. I stared at him sternly.

"Excuse me?" Was he really questioning how far I'd gone?

Then as if he read my mind he said, "Not that I think you're lying about the hands free thing. But not that you seem inexperienced! But not easy either! But.."

"Babe, I get it. What do you think I lied about?"

He took a deep breath. "There's no way guys weren't interested in you. You are drop dead gorgeous, smart, funny, and just incredible. Your school couldn't have been filled with idiots, and trust me, a guy would have to be an idiot to not be intrigued by you. But you have a lot of walls up after what happened with your family, and even though I know you love me, you still keep them up around even me. I'm perfectly fine with you being…inexperienced. Grateful, actually. The idea of another guy's hands on you, well it makes my blood boil." I blushed at that. "I'd be overjoyed to teach you, though."

I shot my head up at that. He had a devious smirk on his face. "Okay. Sounds like a plan. But I think the mood is kind of killed tonight… Could we have that share time we discussed?" I smiled and winked. He smiled back.

"Anything for you, Blue Eyes." So we changed into our pajamas (we had planned for Alli to stay with Drew and Eli to stay with me.)We then laid back on the bed and I rested my head on his chest and our legs intertwined under the covers.

"So what do you want to talk about?" He asked.

"How many girls have you slept with?" His breathing seemed to halt at the suddenness of my question.

"Uh, two."

I silently nodded my head. "Who were they?"

"Well Julia. And then this girl Kassidy. Kassidy was kind of random. We dated for a little less than a month. I didn't really like her. She lived in a little suburb. I just wanted to make Julia mad. It worked. But then I felt guilty all the time. Having sex wasn't worth any of the drama either of them caused. I kind of just did it with Julia because I felt her slipping away and I hoped it would keep her around. Then that's what our whole relationship turned into after a few times. I was miserable. And Kassidy turned into kind of a scary stalker-ish crazy person when I ended it."

"I see."

"Yeah. I wish I'd waited. We could have been each other's first." He sounded upset with himself.

"Well it'll be the first time making love, right?" I asked sheepishly.

"Right. I never thought of it that way. I love you, Clare."

"I love you too, Eli." Then we drifted off to sleep, content in each other's arms.

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><p><strong>So although this chapter may seem like im leading up to them doing the deed, i don't think i'll write that. Im a virgin so it kinda just seems wrong in my mind. If someone wants to write out the smut and pm it to me, i'll try to incorporate it at some point and credit you.<strong>

**But i hope you enjoyed this tidbit. I'm not sure where i'm gonna go with this anymore. But im trying to figure it out so bear with me, kay? =)**

**And you may have noticed from the two month break, comments make me post faster. =P**


	18. Chapter 17

**I'm awful. Really, truly awful. I just started college and its been a VERY stressful few months. I promise I'm going to start trying to post more often.**

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><p>I awoke to the sound of Justin Bieber coming from my phone, signaling that I had an incoming call from Jenna.<p>

"Hello?" I answered sleepily.

"CLARE!" Jenna screamed so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear and Eli shot up from his spot next to me.

"Good morning, Jenna. I can't say I've missed your early morning squeals." I deadpanned.

"Sorry, Clare Bear." I could practically hear her blushing through the phone. "Oh! I almost forgot why I called. If it's okay with you, I'm free to come visit next weekend! K.C.'s mom is coming to visit for the weekend and wants to keep Ty."

"That sounds great, Jenna! I can't wait to see you! I've missed you."

"I missed you too, Clare Bear. I'm so excited to get out of the house again. I love Ty, but it's so hard raising him without K.C."

"I can imagine."

"Clare!" Eli whined. "Come back to bed." He gave me a pouty lip and I laughed.

"Clare Diana Edwards! Do you have a boy in your bed?" Jenna screamed, excitedly. I laughed again.

"Yes. I've got to go!" I yelled and hung up before she could bombard me with questions. I laid down with Eli again and he wrapped his arms around me.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Jenna's coming to visit next weekend." I smiled.

"Well, I guess we better start planning things for you two to do then, eh?"

"Probably more like the five of us. Alli and Jenna will love each other." We laughed.

"Knock, knock!" Alli yelled as she entered the room. Eli groaned loudly.

"Go back to Drew, Alli! I don't want to leave!" He nuzzled his head in my neck.

"I don't think so, Goldsworthy. Get your butt out!" She smiled.

"No! It's too early!" He pouted.

"It's 11:00! Get up! Both of you. Clare and I have to finish cleaning the dorm because you guys kept distracting us last week."

Eventually Alli made Eli and I get out of bed and we spent the afternoon cleaning the dorm then we decided we'd go see a movie with Char, Tauri, Kahly, and Kelli. We spent the entire movie dancing in our chairs and singing along.

"Oh my gosh! That was amazing!" Alli gushed.

"I know! Mark Salling is so much sexier in 3D!" Tauri squealed.

"No! Cory was way cuter!" I agreed.

"No way. Chord Overstreet was hotter than him! I love him so much." Kahly screamed. She wasn't exaggerating either. She had tons of pictures of him on her phone.

"No! Harry! He's such an amazing dancer." Char said.

"Okay, let's get real. Darren Criss is totally the best looking." Kelli argued.

"What do you think, Alli?" I asked. She was uncharacteristically quiet for when we were talking boys.

"I love them all!" She yelled and laughed. We all rolled our eyes and laughed along. Alli always has been the most boy crazy.

We kept talking about Glee and found out the favorite girls and most popular couples. We actually spent the entire week gushing about the movie. The whole week, I felt like everything was perfect. Eli and I were always talking and falling for each other more and more. Alli and Drew were getting mushier and cuter every day. All of the girls had never ending gossip to talk about, but none of it was affecting anyone I cared about. Jenna was coming to visit. And my birthday's in a month. Everything was so perfect, in fact, I was having a hard time enjoying it. I could just see that something bad was coming. Eli assured me I was just being silly, but I couldn't shake it. But soon, I couldn't worry about it because it was Friday and Jenna was due to arrive in an hour.

"Clare! Would you calm down? I doubt your best friend will care if your room is spotless." Alli reasoned.

"Jenna won't. But she and my mom are close, since hers ran off when she was little. My mom will find out if my rooms a mess then I'll get daily calls making sure I'm keeping things clean and getting along with you and anything else she can think of." I rushed my explanation out. Okay, so maybe I was being a _little_ crazy. Alli just laughed lightly and rolled her eyes at me.

Alli didn't have a chance to reply because we heard a sudden knock on the door. I ran to it and opened it up.

There was suddenly loud squealing and I winced at the noise. I looked over to Alli and she was just sitting there, unphased. I forgot – she's a squealer too. I pulled Jenna into a hug, hoping it would quiet her. It did.

"It's so great to see you Jenna!" I said as I pulled away from the hug.

"You too, Clare Bear. I'm so happy to be here. This vacation is much needed." I could tell. Jenna looked tired. That cheery glint in her eyes was now dull, and she seemed to have dark circles under her eyes.

"Well I hope you're ready to have some crazy fun! We have the whole weekend planned out." I smiled.

"Sounds great, Clare." She returned the smile. Alli cleared her throat.

"Oh! Jenna this is Alli Bandari. Alli, this is Jenna."

"Ohhh. Sav's little sister right?" Alli nodded. "Ahh. This is awkward."

"No! Don't let it be. My brother's a chick magnet, but he's socially stupid. He never actually knew when someone was flirting with him. You were the most subtle." We all laughed, because Jenna and subtlety don't go together at all.

We chatted for a few more minutes until Jenna said "So Clare, where is this mystery boy you shared a bed with last weekend?" She had an eyebrow cocked and I blushed.

I was about to answer when there was a knock on the door. Alli got up and went to open it.

"Speak of the devil." Alli said and smirked back at us. Drew then walked in and kissed Alli.

Jenna looked over at me. "Why is she kissing your boyfriend?" She exclaimed.

"What?" Alli, Drew and I said all at once.

"And the guy is DREW?" Jenna had a shocked and slightly disgusted look on her face. "That's like… incest, Clare."

"Jenna, you are such an airhead. Drew is dating Alli." Then Eli walked in. "That's my boyfriend!"

"Why yes I am." He said smoothly while walking towards me to give me a sweet kiss.

"Hi." I said dreamily while biting my bottom lip. He smirked in response. Then he turned to Jenna and stuck his arm out.

"Hi, I'm Eli."

"Hi Eli. I'm Jenna." She shook his eyes and everyone in the room but me realized that Jenna was basically eye raping him in front of me.

Eli pulled his hand away and looked uncomfortable. Alli was standing there with her eyes wide and her mouth agape. Drew just rolled his eyes and shook his head. He knew how Jenna was. He used to be Jenna.

"Who's ready for lunch?" I asked cheerfully unaware.

* * *

><p><strong>Alright. I hope it wasn't too awful. I had to put in a little piece of Glee. My friends and i drove 2 hours to see the 3D movie the day it came out. and i wrote that first part the night before. So yeah. Anywayssss. Drama's a-comin'. Get ready! And i know i say this all the time, but your reviews really do make me post faster. :)<strong>


	19. Author's Note 2 :

Hey guys. So I feel incredibly guilty that I left these stories hanging. I have every intention of working on them when I finally have time, but at the moment I am swamped. I'm in my first year of college and it's rough. I'm on academic probation and I haven't told my family so I can't risk not getting my GPA up so I have to use my free time to study extra. But my finals are in less than a month, and when I get done I have to get my gallbladder removed, so at least I'll have a few solid days of nothingness so I can write.

I really hope I don't lose any readers over this, considering I probably don't have the hugest following as it is. I know it sucks when a writer doesn't update, trust me, but I pinky promise that I will work my hardest to post as much as I can over summer.


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